CHAPTER IV.
Meeting in Dubuque, Iowa.—Result of the Meeting.—My Conversion and Baptism, and our Subsequent Marriage.
In the month of April, 1850, Bro. Henderson and Dr. Hopson visited Dubuque, Iowa. Bro. Henderson alluded to that visit in the letter of the preceding chapter. They found a few faithful Disciples struggling for religious life and recognition. Brethren Mobley, Henderson (a brother of Bro. D. P. Henderson), McDaniel, Hardy, Bennet, Gilliam, with their noble Christian wives, and a few others, had been for many years letting their light shine amid the theological darkness of that city.
Dr. Hopson, in his report of the meeting at Dubuque, has introduced me to the readers of this book. I hope no one will think me indelicate in giving a history of this meeting, to me the most important event of my life. The brethren had taken great pains to advertise the coming of the two evangelists. Their expected advent threw the shepherds of the various ecclesiastical flocks into great consternation. Meetings were commenced in nearly all the churches of the city, so as to prevent, if possible, any stray sheep from falling into the clutches of the "wolves in sheep's clothing."
I was a member at that time of the Congregationalist Church. A week before the meeting was to begin at the Christian Church, our minister announced to his congregation that he would deliver a series of discourses, be
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ginning the next night, in which he would expose the errors of Alexander Campbell, and thus effectually spike the gospel guns of the coming propounders of the schismatical and damning doctrines of that great deceiver. We were glad to know that we had in our little church the David that could demolish the great Goliath of error. For six nights we listened to our preacher. He held in one hand "King James"' translation of the New Testament, and in the other Campbell, Macknight and Doddridge's translation. He showed us how wicked and sacrilegious a man was, who dared to differ from the accepted version.
Of course, we at once agreed with our minister that Alexander Campbell was a vandal and an apostate, and should be put under the ban religiously, with all who were weak or wicked enough to be deceived by his teaching. He closed his lectures by telling us not to go near those wolves in sheeps' clothing; they would deceive the very elect.
I have no doubt that from every pulpit in the city the same anathemas were thundered.
Under these auspices the evangelists began their meeting. For a week I heard nothing of it, until one morning I entered my school-room and found my pupils in a warm discussion, in which such words as Campbellites, water-dogs, were freely used. The noise ceased upon my entrance, but traces of anger remained on the faces of some of the larger pupils. I forbade any religious discussion on the premises. I soon found that I had several small wolves among my best pupils. I knew nothing of the people except what our preacher told us, and was under the impression that they baptized in the name of
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Alexander Campbell, and had to be immersed every time they committed a sin.
One reading this may say such ignorance was unpardonable. I almost believe so myself. There was a church in our midst that taught the truth. Every Lord's day they met and attended to the ordinances of the Lord's house. I was too proud to seek there for the light, not thinking that we were commanded to "prove all things," and "hold fast that which is good." I looked with pity, and almost contempt, upon the few poor, deluded people who were willing to meet every Lord's day in the little, humble stone church. What had I to do with the poor, despised publicans? Alas! to what a contemptible pass do we allow pride and prejudice to lead us!
Some of my young friends attended the meetings and became deeply interested. They insisted so strongly on my going once, at least, that I consented, but notified them that I should secure the first vacant seat, and that no doubt they would be plentiful. When we entered the church at an early hour, I looked for a vacant seat, and close behind the door sat our preacher. He had come for the wolves to catch him too! I can never tell the shock his presence gave me; my feelings were first mortification, then distrust, then loss of faith in the man. I looked around on the audience; every church in the city was well represented, and I was glad to drop into a seat the third pew from the pulpit. Soon the aisles were filled, and many were turned away for want of room. Thirty-five happy disciples were seated, with smiling faces, among the audience. Eternity can never wipe out the memory of the next twenty-four hours; the destiny of my soul hung in the balance. Thirty-six years have
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passed, but Memory's tablet is filled with living pictures of those moments.
After the singing of one or two songs, the two ministers entered the pulpit. The opening exercises were brief. I did not notice them particularly till I heard the voice of one of them reading a hymn. Such a voice is not often heard; any one who listened to Bro. Henderson thirty years ago will attest this. I do not remember the hymn he read; I was busy thinking about that other preacher who was hiding behind the door. Bro. Henderson called on Dr. Hopson to pray, and when he arose I saw for the first time the man who was to influence my future life so greatly.
Some have asked me, Did you not feel some premonition that, in some way, your lives were to be united? Never; he seemed no more to me than the brother by his side, and both were removed leagues from me by religious prejudice.
It was Bro. Henderson's night to preach, but he was quite hoarse, and was unable to do so. Dr. Hopson addressed the audience. His sermon was on the "Division of the Word of Truth," or the proper manner of studying the Bible. In a few minutes, in spite of my vexation, I was listening to the strange story that the Bible, like any other book of instruction, had a design, and that any one studying it with this idea before him, could readily understand its teachings. He divided the Book according to dispensation, subject and character, and said if any one would keep these in view when reading, he could not mistake the plan of salvation.
There had been three dispensations-the Patriarchal from Adam to Moses; the Jewish, from Mount Sinai to Pentecost, and since then the Christian. Under the Pa
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triarchal, the head of the family was the priest to offer sacrifice for himself and household; under the Jewish, which grew out of the giving of the Law on Mount Sinai, the priesthood was changed, and Aaron and his sons became priests to offer blood for the people. The head of the family must now bring his blood to the priest, and not dare to offer for himself or his family. After the Jewish dispensation had accomplished the purpose for which it was set up, it passed away to make room for the Christian dispensation, in which the Gentile nations were to be included. The ponderous ritual of the Jews' religion was to be exchanged for simple worship. The sacrifices, the priesthood itself, so far as human priests were needed, was to be done away. The blood of Christ was to procure pardon, instead of the blood of animals slain by human hands. The clash of cymbals, the timbrel, the harp, the stringed instruments, the organ, the sound of the trumpet, the dance, all were to pass away with the dispensation which was, more or less, a religion of the flesh. The law was nailed to the cross, and a new and living way was consecrated for us. Christ Himself became the mediator of a better covenant, and every follower of His becomes a king and priest unto God.
While the dispensations have changed, the principle underlying them has not. Under the Patriarchal, there was faith in God, sorrow for sin, obedience to a positive institution, and the offering of blood. Under the Jewish, the same thing prevailed-faith, obedience and offering of blood; the priesthood was changed, the commandments were changed, but the principle was still the same. Under the Christian, the objects of faith are increased. The Patriarchs and Jews believed in God, and worshiped Him; we must believe in God, and that He sent His only
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begotten Son into the world to save sinners. The commandments have changed: the blood is different, but the principle remains-faith, obedience and blood.
SUBJECT.
We should take all or nothing that is said upon a given subject. Take justification. By what are we justified? The Bible says we are justified by faith, justified by grace, justified by the life of Christ, by His blood, justified by Christ, justified by God, justified by works. One of these propositions is as true as the other. If we are not justified by all, we are by none.
SAVED.
We are saved by grace, by hope, by the gospel, by the life of Christ, by faith, by the death of Christ, by confession, by calling on the name of the Lord, saved by baptism. The Bible says all these things save us, but there are thousands of people in the church who do not believe the last proposition, and say that baptism is not essential to salvation; just as well say that faith, calling on the name of the Lord, or grace, is unnecessary, as that baptism is. The same Holy Spirit that said one, said all.
CHARACTER.
There were three characters in the New Testament who asked the question, "What shall I do to be saved?"
1. The unbelieving jailer, a pagan, and worshiper of false gods. Paul preached to him, he believed, repented (for he washed their stripes) and was baptized.
2. On the day of Pentecost, when the Jews heard these words they were pierced to their hearts (this was faith), and cried out, "What shall we do?" Peter said, "Repent and be baptized."
3. Christ appeared to Saul of Tarsus, to make him an
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apostle. It was necessary that he should see Christ after he had risen from the dead, in order to be a witness of His resurrection. No doubt he had often seen Christ in his walks about Jerusalem. He was a very pious Jew, but a very wicked persecutor of the Christians, hunting them from city to city to put them to death. Before Saul could commence his work, he must be made a Christian. This vision of Christ produced faith, and when the risen Saviour charged him with persecuting Him, it smote him to the heart, and he cried out in bitter repentance, "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?" Saul, I can not tell any man what to do for remission of sins. I have sent men out to teach all nations. "Go to Damascus, and there it shall be told thee what thou must do." Christ did not say : "Saul, you can do it if you like, or not; if it is perfectly convenient," but "what thou must do." When the Christian teacher, Ananias, came and found this pious Jew praying, what did he say? "Pray on, brother Saul, peradventure God will pardon you; I will pray for you"? Nay; all he said was: "Saul, why tarriest thou? Arise, and be baptized, and wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord," in addition to your prayers to God.
The unbeliever had three things to do: first, to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ; second, to repent; third, to be baptized. The believing Pentecostians were commanded to "repent and be baptized," as the preaching of Peter had already made them believe; they had two things to do. Saul did believe, did repent, and had but one thing that he must do-be baptized.
For over an hour the speaker held the audience spellbound by his eloquent and forcible presentation of the truth. For ten years I had been in Saul's condition.
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My family were all devoted Baptists, and when the yearly protracted meetings were held I was always at my place on the mourner's-bench, crying, like Saul, for mercy. I was taught that God was very angry with me, and that when, by tears and strong cries, I had appeased His wrath, He would send His Holy Spirit down and in some tangible way make me conscious that my sins were forgiven. Still I was impressed that there was something for me to do. I would ask the aged man of God, "What must I, what can I do to be forgiven?" Without an exception the answer was, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved." I know I wanted to believe, I prayed that I might believe, and I thought I did believe. I do not think I can remember the time when I did not believe and love God and Christ, yet no peace came.
The minister closed his sermon with a touching appeal to sinners. I do not remember the song, nor the benediction; I felt as one walking in a dream. I had never seen a Christian preacher, nor ever heard a gospel sermon before. My only thought was, Can this be true? Can we understand the Bible for ourselves? I was anxious to be at home, with my Bible in my hand, to see if these things were so. I read the "Acts of the Apostles" through twice, before I retired. It was all there, just as the preacher had said. No word was taken from, nor one added, and for the first time in my life I understood the scheme of redemption.
I felt satisfied with myself; I had believed, I had repented, I had been baptized (so I thought), though there was not much water there when the act was performed. Then with this new light I could walk bravely on in my Christian life, and read and interpret the divine word for
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myself. I never once dreamed that added light would send me adrift from all my old moorings.
The next day was the Sabbath, as I had been taught to call it; and, thank God, it was the last Sabbath I slept in the tomb of sectarianism. I remained at home until evening, reading the new revelation; but, in the midst of my rejoicing, there came a sudden thought. Is it possible that these contemned people are right, and all these denominations that I have known from childhood are wrong? It was a startling idea to one who had never heard of the Christian Church, but always heard it called Campbellite or New Light.
I tried to console myself with the thought that, so I was in the church, it did not matter what branch I belonged to, as all worshipers of every nation, kindred and tongue belonged to the invisible church of God. Thus firmly settled that all was well with me, and, strong in the armor of sectarian prejudice, I sought an interview with a lady belonging to the contemned sect, whose acquaintance I had made without knowing her religious status, until I saw her in church among the members. I found her at home, and pleased to see me, expressing her gratification that I was at church the night before. Without any preliminaries, we entered at once upon the discussion of our different views religiously. Each of us had a Testament. Step by step she drove me from what I thought my impregnable position.
Just as we were in the height of our argument, visitors were announced, and the two preachers entered the parlor. After an introduction, Sister C. stated my difficulties to Bro. Henderson. His clear and concise reasoning soon demolished my last stronghold, and, humiliated and mortified, I rose to leave. Mrs. C. asked me if I would like
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for her to call for me to go to church with her. I could scarcely repress the tears of vexation, and steady my voice enough to decline her invitation.
I went home, thanking that other preacher in my heart that he forbore to say a word. He did not even seem to have heard the conversation.
When church time arrived, a spirit of perversity seized me, and I determined to go to meeting that night to show those people I was not afraid of their sons of thunder. I thought I was satisfied that "any application of water to the person in the name of the Trinity" was baptism, and that I was as much a member of the body of Christ as any of the new sect.
Dr. Hopson preached that night on the conversion of the eunuch. His first point was, The qualification of the preacher. The second, the ignorance of the eunuch. Third, Jesus only was preached, and fully. Fourth, where learned the eunuch of water? Fifth, the confession and its meaning. Sixth, did he rejoice before or after his baptism? Seventh, was he pardoned or not? Eighth, if I baptize a man on that confession, will I do right or wrong? Whom shall we trust if we believe not Jesus Christ? "If I do wrong, Philip did wrong, and the Holy Spirit did wrong, for He directed the evangelist in every act."
For the first time in my life I heard of a scriptural mode of baptism. "They both went down into the water, and he baptized him; and when they came up out of the water he rejoiced." I was stripped of my baptism, and, of course, of my church; for, if I had not been baptized, I was not in the Church of Christ, nor could I be. I had never gone down into the water, nor been buried or planted with Christ in the likeness of his death.
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When the preacher closed his sermon amid breathless, silence, the invitation hymn was sung. I walked forward the first one that night to take a stand upon the Bible alone. I had no thought of such a step until conscience and conviction forced me to it. I did not desire to take the step; I knew it would meet the condemnation of every relative and friend I had in the world. I should leave a popular and influential church, to connect myself with a despised and ostracised people. The struggle was short. Christ, peace, and infinite rest was what I sought, and I left all, if need be, to gain it.
I was immersed by Dr. Hopson Monday morning following, and from that hour till now I have never had the shadow of a religious doubt, and have rejoiced in the truth always.
The meeting continued two weeks, and it was a perpetual love-feast with the brethren. Their houses were thrown open, and the new converts were made to feel welcome and at home in their new relation. Bro. Henderson and wife were a nucleus for many social gatherings, while the silent Doctor, seemed to be a looker-on rather than a participant.
"Did you not fall in love with Dr. Hopson, when you learned he was a widower?" No, I can not say that I did. I will give you several reasons: First, he was a minister. For many years of my life my father had lived next door to a Baptist parsonage. I had seen the deprivations and makeshifts of a preacher's wife and family, and had long ago made up my mind that I would never marry a preacher. Then he was a doctor. I thought that next to preaching, it was the poorest calling. If he did not starve his family, he would be bringing all sorts of diseases home to them-measles, scarlet fever, whoop-
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ing-cough, small pox. No, I could never marry a doctor! Worse than these, he was a Mason. If there was anything intolerable, it would be to have your husband go to the lodge two or three times a week, and be in the possession of a secret you could never buy nor beg from him. Then, in addition to all these objections, he was a widower. To do him justice, I really thought that what there was left of him after subtracting these four objections, was very good; but it was clearly not a case of love at first sight.
Of one thing I am sure-that we did not have any time for talking until the meeting closed; his conversation was nearly always directed to the gentlemen. The meeting closed, and the next day was fixed for the departure of the Evangelist. When the down boat reached Dubuque, some of the machinery was broken, and she had to lay up for repairs. The next two days were spent by a large company of the members visiting points of interest in the vicinity of the city. I was fortunate enough to be among the number, and still more fortunate in having the silent Doctor for my especial escort. We had a delightful time, and spent the whole day in rambling over hills and eating dinner. I enjoyed it very much, and almost lost sight of the four objections, but not quite. On consulting my feelings some four months afterward, and comparing them with those at that time, I feel quite sure I was not in love then.
The brethren left Dubuque April 29th. Dr. Hopson asked permission to write to me. We agreed to correspond, the result of which was a proposal of marriage, about the 1st of August, which, with my usual good sense, I accepted, the four objections notwithstanding. Distance had reduced their size wonderfully. His next
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letter asked me to set a time for our union. I named April, 1851. He wrote, in answer, that he would be in Dubuque the first day of October, and I must be ready to return to Missouri with him, giving me three weeks to get ready.
He arrived the 28th of September, and we were married the 30th, 1850, Bro. M. Mobley, one of the elders of the congregation, performing the ceremony. The dear old man is still living in Washington city, and wrote me just after Cleveland was elected. He says:
"I returned to the city in the spring of 1881, and got a good place in the Pension Office, where I am now laboring to aid the new Administration to get into good running order; and when I think the machine can run without me, I will go home and spend the remaining years of my life.
" I have been wonderfully preserved, and feel very thankful to a kind Providence. Here I am, eighty-five years old; mind and memory unimpaired; sight as good as it ever was, and physically able to work at my desk from 9 A. M. till 4 P.M. and not feel weary."
I had a letter from him not long ago; he is* still living-eighty-seven years old this spring.
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*Bro. Mobley died since this manuscript was sent to press.
